There’s a new trend sweeping through therapies and services for autism. Neurodiversity affirmation is all the rage, and for good reason.
As awareness and acceptance of neurodiversity grow, attitudes towards autism are changing. Many therapists and providers who support people with autism are changing their approach to be more neurodiversity-affirming, and ABA therapy is no exception.
Quality ABA therapy supports neurodiversity and celebrates individuals. A good therapist will help a child reach their full potential without trying to change or “fix” them. They accept, affirm, and celebrate the quirks that make them who they are rather than trying to fit them into a neurotypical box.
Every human mind is different. Some people are really good at math, some love to draw, and some are super-fast runners. Neurodiverse people have brains that are wired differently than most people’s. They may understand some things more quickly, miss things that other people notice, or process information differently. This is neurodiversity. Neurodiversities include autism (ASD), ADHD, dyslexia, among others.
These conditions used to be misunderstood. When they were first investigated, they were seen as disorders. Today, as research, awareness, and understanding grow, they are seen not as a disadvantage but rather as simply different ways to think and process ideas. Many times, neurodiverse people possess strengths and creativity that others don’t, and different ways to think and see things make our world richer and more beautiful. Just as there is diversity in ethnicity and culture, there is diversity in human brains.
Neurodiversity-affirming therapy means helping individuals understand that their brain is just fine the way it is. It doesn't try to make neurodiverse individuals act like neurotypical people — they help them be the best possible in their own way.
That doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or skill deficits. Psychologists Matthew D. Lerner, Ava N. Gurba, and Dena Gassner, emphasize that in A Framework for Neurodiversity-Affirming Interventions for Autistic Individuals. “The aim of [neurodiversity-affirming intervention] should not be to ignore or downplay the challenges that autistic people face – and practitioners should be mindful of the risk that purely ‘strengths-based’ approaches may do precisely this – but, instead, identify venues, approaches, and tools that allow those strengths to be more evident even in the face of these challenges.”
In ABA therapy, neurodiversity-affirming practice emphasizes support over compliance. It celebrates identity while teaching functional skills. ABA today focuses on building safety, communication, and independence.
You might have seen a lot of hate for ABA online or claims that ABA therapy “stifles” children.
There was a time when behavior therapy practices included methods that are not acceptable in behavioral therapy today. As behavioral sciences have evolved and patient rights gained more attention, these methods were replaced with better and positive methods. Many people use these outdated practices to speak out against ABA therapy.
Modern ABA celebrates diversity and uniqueness and enables every child to build skills for success. The sterile clinical environment is left in the past, and so are unregulated behavioral modification programs. Instead, therapists focus on helping people they work reach goals they set so they can live their fullest lives.
Unfortunately, there are some providers who still stick to the old-school methods of behavior therapy. When looking into a therapy agency, find one that practices today’s ABA — the kind, accepting, and trauma-informed model of care.
ABA is an evidence-based science that has helped many children develop functional skills. It also promotes independence in children with autism. The earlier children learn independence, the more they will succeed in school and in the workplace as adults. ABA teaches children how to be the absolute best version of themselves. Most importantly, ABA is family-centered and teaches parents their important role in helping their children.
Therapists start ABA therapy with a process called pairing. Pairing is when they get to know the child and build rapport. It can look like regular play, but it is an essential part of the therapy process. The key to ABA is building trust and friendship so that the child will work with the BT on expanding their skill set.
Therapists work with kids to build skills that will help them be successful in the life they want to lead. This is done through setting and accomplishing goals through a behavior plan created by their BCBA. Some things they might work on:
When looking for a therapy provider for your child, look for a practice that is neurodiversity affirming. You want a place that focuses on your child and what is good for THEM, not one whose goal is to put them in a box and try to make them seem neurotypical.
You might wonder what’s wrong with trying to get a child to act “normal". It’s important to understand that a child with autism has a mind that works differently from neurotypical people’s minds. Forcing them to act in ways that aren’t natural to them is both confusing and painful, and they are left constantly feeling broken and wondering what they are doing wrong.
In contrast, good therapy can help a child realize how their mind is different. It can help them understand how to interact with others, learn ways to tap into their own strengths, and build skills in a way that will work for them.
How can you know if a provider is neurodiversity affirming?
The way a provider talks about their practice and their clients is a strong indicator. Look out for key words on their website. Read their posts on social media. Talk to them and hear how they talk about your child, their therapists, and what you will get out of therapy.
Do they talk about neurodiversity? Do they sound accepting? What kind of feeling do you get from them?
There are red flags that will help you avoid low quality and green lights that tell you something is a great option. Keep in mind that every provider has pros and cons, so you want to look for one with a lot of green lights and very few red flags (or one if you can find that!)
| Red flags | Green lights |
|---|---|
| ❌"Traditional" or formal compliance‑first ABA therapy | "Child‑led" or "family‑centered" ABA therapy |
| ❌Implying they can cure or fix your child | Adapts support to each child's needs |
| ❌Claiming to make your child indistinguishable from peers | Offers 1‑on‑1 support |
| ❌Talk of eliminating stimming | Available to talk to you and answer questions |
| ❌Using the word "normal" as a goal | Mentions different learning styles |
| ❌Promises of changing your child | Talks about collaboration and parent involvement |
| ❌Talks only about deficits, not about building strengths | Speaks positively about individuals they work with |
| Assent‑based or trauma‑informed ABA therapy |
Before settling on a provider, do your research. The more you know, the better you will be able to choose. You can make the best decision when you know what you are looking for — and what you are not looking for.
Educate yourself. Read up on therapy, neurodiversity, and modern practices. Talk to other parents, read blogs (like this one!), and visit autism parent forums to learn more and equip yourself to make the best decision.
Learn whatever you can about each provider that you are looking into. Read their reviews to see other parents’ experiences. Explore their website to get a feel for their values and practice. If you know other parents in the autism community, ask them if they know about the providers you’re looking into.
One thing to keep in mind: every child is different. Take other parents’ experiences with a (very small) grain of salt, keeping in mind that age, skill level, and other dynamics can also impact their progress. Looking out more to hear about the quality of care and support they offer can give you an idea of what your experience might look like.
Some useful resources to help you on your ABA journey:
You might be concerned about finding the right team to help your child. Please feel free to contact us with any questions about ABA therapy, neurodiversity affirming practices, or autism.
Neurodiversity-affirming care recognizes that brains work in many valid ways. It focuses on acceptance, safety, communication, and independence—supporting strengths while addressing real challenges without trying to “fix” or make someone appear neurotypical.
It’s ABA that prioritizes assent, dignity, and individualized goals. Therapists build rapport (“pairing”), teach functional, meaningful skills, and celebrate identity while reducing barriers that limit quality of life.
No. It addresses communication, safety, and daily living needs while also highlighting strengths. The aim is to help strengths shine even when challenges exist, not to downplay support needs.
Older practices emphasized compliance and normalization. Modern, trauma‑informed ABA rejects those approaches, focusing instead on consent, collaboration, functional goals, and family partnership.
Beware of promises to “cure” autism, eliminate stimming, make a child “indistinguishable,” or strictly “traditional” compliance‑first approaches. Avoid programs that discuss only deficits or set “normal” as the goal.
Look for child‑led or family‑centered care, assent‑based and trauma‑informed language, individualized goals, 1:1 support, collaboration with parents, respect for different learning styles, and positive, person‑first communication.
Read their website and social posts for affirming language, ask how they include parents, how goals are chosen, how assent is obtained, and how they adapt for sensory needs. Request examples of functional goals and progress measures.
Functional, meaningful skills such as communicating needs, daily living (toileting, dressing), safety, self‑advocacy, and social participation—aligned with the individual’s values and family priorities.
No. Stimming can be a healthy regulation strategy. Ethical practice only targets behaviors that are unsafe or significantly limiting, replacing them with safer, functional alternatives while respecting regulation needs.
Research providers, read reviews, talk to other parents, and schedule consultations. Ask about assent, collaboration, data sharing, and how they tailor supports. Choose the team that respects your child’s identity and builds practical skills.